Sixty Days

This is the recommended amount of time that most psychiatrists propose ample enough to get over someone. Regardless of the relationship's status or nuclear fall-out, in sixty days your heart is supposed to mend and you are on your way to a brighter and better future. I call their bullshit. I know, it's not a long time in the grand scheme of things. But sixty days without seeing, calling, or touching the person that you spent (or wasted) the last three years of your life with can feel like a long time when you're only on day one, and that doesn't even start until tomorrow.

I am not bitter, I am simply heartbroken. Crossroads happen, shit happens- it's just life, you deal with it and move on. Was I happy enough and willing to work through problems we had? Yes. Can I do better than him? Surely and without a doubt. But none of that matters when you think someone has pussied their way out of breaking up after realizing that they don't feel the same about you as you do for them. There is anger, sadness, and a whole slew of other emotions I don't believe I have words for. But if I can man up enough to tell someone exactly what I think, surely they can do the same for me, right? Bullshit.

Being a child of the technological age, I have done what any sane women would do these days: scoured the internet, searching for reasons as to why it happened, what could've been done better, and how to get over it all. If he thinks he'll come back into my life after breaking my heart for the third time, he's seriously mistaken. And I am dead set and hell bent on proving that. So I've filtered emails into a spam folder, blocked any messenger addresses I can think of, let his friends know we will not be in contact and thanks for playing, and removed my relationship status entirely from all social networking sites. I've put away presents, trinkets, and anything else that he gave me, and am seriously contemplating pawning my beloved Tiffany's and diamond stud earrings for cold hard cash, which will promptly be deposited at Neimans for overpriced stillettos that I can fuck someone else in and ultimately feel hotter and better... but I'm not bitter enough to do that just yet.

I've decided though that I'm not deleting pictures online- I did this last time and it didn't help. You can't avoid the past; you simply have to learn from it and grow. I think forgetting it all is what got me into round 2 with this same guy anyway, so the only way out now is to remember the good times but not make the same mistakes again. Have I forgotten anything else in this ritual cleanse? Let me know...