Day 1

Despite everything that I've read over the last few days, not a single one of the "How To Find Closure and Move On" articles that are out there suggested the most important thing I've learned so far when you feel as if you've been dumped: TELL EVERYONE you know and get it over with. Figure out how to condense your "why it happened" story into an elevator pitch (that leaves out the gory details); then make sure all friends, mutual friends, family, and close colleagues know, and make sure you do all of this within 72 hours if possible. If you don't, you will find yourself in the days and weeks to come simply rehashing it over and over out loud and thinking about it even more than you ever should.

I realized this today. I ran into a friend around lunchtime, and another friend who I thought would surely tell everyone within our circle had not- thus, I was left to retell the same story I've been replaying for a week like a broken record. Although it doesn't get any harder to tell and tell again, it doesn't get any easier either. However, I can give a very certain play by play in less than 5 minutes, thus not boring the listener's ears to death but still filling them in with what has happened up to the present time. They are sad for me, they say they will drop anything to spend time with me, they say I can do better. These things are nice and the latter I know... but right now I just need to be around people who are tough and applaud my toughness, not anyone else who wants my feelings all over the place because they think that helps to heal. As I've come to find out in my short dating life, healing is a not an intensely emotional process for me, it is simply psychological- I get in better shape, I find a better job, and I improve my life overall. I do not wallow and sob- I have my moments yes, but they are fleeting because as far as I know what's the point? Ex-boyfriends are like spilled milk- if the carton (or boy) slips out of your grasp and happens to go everywhere and it isn't salvageable, you can always go get another at the grocery store... or corner gas stop, really whatever is most convenient and suits your preference here.

It's officially day one of my "no contact" policy, and though I find myself feeling at ease with the whole situation and maybe thinking it's wholly unnecessary, I am sticking to the entire sixty days if only for the sake of this sociological experiment. I started to think today "maybe I can talk to him in a week or two" but somewhere in my gut I realize that if I was to do such so soon, all the feelings might come flooding back and I've come too far in the last few days to be back at square one. Besides, when he packed up the rest of my stuff and gave it all back, he put a Christmas present from two years back that was for him in one of the bags. Now I'm not sure if it's a sign, but in my mind any boy who gives you back red lacy underwear you wore for him on Christmas certainly doesn't see you coming back anytime soon to fill them again. And guys, for the record, if you don't want that sort of gift to keep as a souvenir, give or throw it away! Don't return them to their previous owner who just happens to be your soon to be ex! Besides, giving back gifts is just rude in general, right?